This week I was both flattered and embarrassed when Adam Nicols, the immensely talented director and co-founder of the OVO theatre company, referred to me in the St Albans Times as, "The most inspirational St Albans person - living or dead". Such an acclamation is, of course, an exaggeration and, certainly, in my perception, not deserved. However, I am very grateful for the appreciation and his praise confirms my belief in joining with many other like-minded people, who are working to enhance the wonderful city we live in.
What Adam said brought me to thinking about a project I am engaged in with my psychiatrist friend, Dr Florian Ruths:
The Nathaniel Cotton Series of Talks on Anthropology and Psychiatry: Cultural Constructs of Mental Illness.
Nathaniel Cotton was an 18th-century poet and a doctor, who was a pioneer in the treatment of mental health, developing a form of clinical psychology at a time when many with mental illness were being locked up in appalling institutions like the notorious Bedlam, Bethlem Royal Hospital, in London. Nathaniel established a sympathetic asylum, 'Collegium Insanorum' (a College for the Insane) on the corner of what is now College Street (named after his institution) with Lower Dagnall Street where you can now find a blue plaque commemorating him on the site of his college. An intensely private person there is little surviving from his life but we know he was married twice, first to Anne Pembroke and then after her death to Hannah Everett. He died in St Albans on 2nd August 1788 and is buried in St Peter's Churchyard. The project is to give a series of talks to raise funds to restore the gravestones and the inscription which has become illegible.
One of the areas we will explore in the talks will be anxiety. The way we view ourselves or believe others view us, concerning our abilities, and how we compare to our peers can lead to a range of anxiety disorders. A common form of distorted self-perception nurtures a feeling of never being "good enough", fuelling a striving for perfection. The constant imposition of high, and often impossible, standards creates an overwhelming anxiety leading to feelings of failure and self-criticism.
When there are negative feelings, or we have unrealistic perceptions about how others view us, this may make us excessively self-conscious. This can develop into social anxiety, where we constantly worry about judgment or rejection. There is also the concomitant fear of failure, heightening anxiety, and it may make us hesitant and procrastinating.
A major issue these days, especially amongst the young, is body dysmorphia. We probably all know of someone who had a distorted perception of their body. Such a distorted perception can lead to mental health problems: obsessing over perceived defects or flaws, measured against the unrealistic standards displayed across the media and in advertising. Often such distorted perceptions lead to excessive dieting, over-exercising and even bizarre cosmetic surgery. Such eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia nervosa can be consequences of a distorted view of body image that has created a sense of shame and worthlessness, resulting in depression.
The lack of self-esteem linked to an apprehension of how we are perceived by those around us can herald a set of cognitive disorders. A common cognitive expression is the way we can create a chain of feelings: for example, 'I failed at this, so I am useless at everything'. When something goes wrong, everything we do can be catastrophised, so we end up feeling powerless in a hostile world - we are worthless and distressed.
Another theme we will be discussing is the concept of shame. A sense of failure can lead to disturbing feelings of shame. A stereotypical condition but, nevertheless, often with a subconscious truth is the offspring's fear of failure in the eyes of their parents and their peers: it can lead to chronic feelings of shame which causes deep emotional pain, depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts in severe cases. Linked to shame is guilt, 'Why am I not good enough?' We may constantly feel guilty because we think in the eyes of others we have failed in life. We can become stuck in a cycle of self-punishment, preventing us from perceiving our real existence rationally.
Particularly in our modern world, where we are constantly in touch with media and their idealistically constructed role models, we are comparing ourselves with others in an unhealthy manner: we can never measure up to the model figures in advertising or idealised versions of people's lives on social media. Comparing ourselves to people who we believe are 'better off', whether in terms of looks, career, relationships or whatever, can damage our self-esteem and increase negative feelings of envy or depression.
To summarise, our self-perception and belief in how others perceive us can have a significant impact on our mental health: negative self-perceptions can contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges.
It is important to build a positive self-perception which involves cultivating self-awareness. We need to challenge negative thought patterns, as well as practising some self-compassion ('we are always to blame!'), and learn, objectively, to accept both our strengths and flaws. By improving how we see ourselves, and being realistic about how others see us (remember we are not the centre of their world) we can improve our mental health and overall quality of life.
I hope this blog will encourage people to join our series of talks at the Octagon St Peter's Church at 7 pm, starting on 27th February.
Comments